Ok, I had a lot of work last night so you get a prewritten review of Columbia’s finest restaurant!
When I was in Columbia it seemed like every other person I met worked at Flat Branch. It took me a while to get around to going there because it’s huge and you’ll spend at least a half-hour waiting for a table, but when I finally did I could see why it was voted Best Restaurant In Columbia for four years straight.
Flat Branch has a big outdoor seating area and a bigger indoor seating area. If you choose the indoors you’ll be directed through the moose lodge themed building to your table. Flat Branch accustoms large groups, so there’s plenty of breathing room inside. I went with four other girls and all of us were ravenously hungry by the time we’d endured the 45-minute wait.
We ordered two loaves of their homemade beer bread. It’s served warm in a mini-loaf and tastes a little like warm beer. The mix of beer and bread is perfect, because they’re both yeast. They add a lot of honey to the bread, and it’s served with honey butter. The crispy fries are also really filling. We all dove into those before any other food had come out. For another appetizer you can order the Chokes and Cheese: a salty artichoke dip that goes great with their beer battered onion rings. It’s delicious. Flat Branch should win the prize for Best Carbs in Columbia.
My veggie burger was decent. The patty was made of beans, “dirty rice”, oats, tofu, pecans, and mushrooms. I couldn’t taste each of the different components, though, and they didn’t have a cool texture like the burgers at Jack and Zach’s. Another time I ordered a flatbread cheese pizza. It was pretty good: maybe a 7. My friends Kay, Summer, Anli, and Maoling all liked their food too.
Flat Branch is obviously also a brewery. Their claim to fame is the Green Chili beer, which is okay but nothing to write home about. I don’t like chiles, so maybe that’s why. I trust that the other beers are as good as their reputation.
I only paid $20.20 for Chokes and Cheese, beer bread, green chili beer, and the veggie burger. For what looks like an expensive restaurant, Flat Branch is pretty easy on the wallet. It’s pretty much a Columbia landmark, so if you take a trip there make sure you check it out.
My Rating: 7.5
Recommended Dish: homemade Beer Bread
Atmosphere: Big, homey, looks like a moose lodge. Usually crowded.
Price Range: $15-30 per person
115 S 5th St Columbia, MO 65201